How Does Constant Criticism Affect The Child

I have noticed few parents, who are never happy with their children. Whatever their child does, however good it is, it is never good enough for them. On the other hand, some parents are over-perfectionists and have such high standards that all they do is point out their children's mistakes. For instance, if their child scores 90 out of 100, they would nag him on why it couldn't have been 100 out of 100. Or if a child is presented with a certificate by school for any special talent he possess, then instead of words of encouragement all the parents have to say is, "Shouldn't you be focusing on your studies other than such useless competitions?"

Such statements are enough to destroy the enthusiasm a child had while showing his achievements to his parents. Though whatever is done by the parents is with a good intention of improving their child, yet this continuous nagging turns out nothing but constant criticism. Some parents also have the habit of labeling their child rather than criticizing him or her. Such labels would include their child 'being lazy', 'being pathetic', 'being irresponsible', 'being immature', 'being foolish', 'being fat', 'being rude', 'being mannerless', 'being short-tempered' and so on. These labels can have an adverse effect on a child if they are every now and then tagged by it.

What Constant Criticism Does To A Child?

When a child is constantly criticized by his parents, all that happens to a child is, he or she takes one more step towards the constant reminder of  'You are not good enough'. A child gets the feeling that he will never be good enough for his parents, how hard he try. The labels a child carries throughout his childhood leave deep impression on a his mind. He may try hard to change his parent's perspective by making constant efforts at doing things right. But if he or she doesn't get their approval or appreciation; it gets difficult for him or her to understand where exactly they are going wrong.

The labels given to children by their parents put them in a slot where they get confused and lack self confidence. This could lead your child to depression and negative self image. They grow with negativity about their own self. It is in fact said that growing up with constant criticsim can damage a child's self worth. When it gets too late, nothing can be done to get things better. Their comes a time when your child just stops trying. That is when he or she gives up. And that is when you lose them. And most of the time, even if you realize your mistake at this point of time, nothing you do can bring them back.

Hence it is very important that parents realize how far they are going with this criticism. The negative effects of criticism are worse than one can imagine. There is a certain way where instead of criticizing, a parent can make their child understand about how good he or she can be. Instead of criticizing and constant nagging, what a parent can do is try to understand their children.

Words of encouragement have their special way of boosting a child's self confidence. If a child has a bad habit or if a parent wishes to teach their child about certain good habits, it is ideal to teach them such habits in an encouraging manner. When a child tries it out, appreciate their efforts and award them for trying.

Importance of Encouraging Curiosity in Children

Children often challenge their parents and teachers with ideas or thoughts that are beyond their understanding. We as parents are exhausted with the countless question attack such as," But, why mom?" or "But how does it grow?" or "What does it mean?" directed towards us by our children. There are times when we don't even know the answer or don't know how to answer some of their questions. Few children can be too curious and answering some of their questions may be too embarrassing for parents. But should that be a reason for a parent to stop attending to a child's curiosity?

Nowadays with the exposure of media and internet, kids know too much for their age and at times could come up with doubts and questions which may have nothing to do with their age. But they just want to know - why, what and how. These why, what and how could be little too much for their age and may be beyond their understanding. But still it is our job as a parent to answer them and nurture their curiosity.

Why is Curiosity Important

Curiosity in kids is often a good thing. Some can be naturally curious about a variety of things. It is said that throughout his life, Einstein wondered about relationships between gravity, space and electromagnetic radiation. The present curriculum most of the schools have today, leaves little scope of arousing curiosity in children. The syllabus and teaching methods implemented, calls for rote-learning. Hence very few kids try to go beyond textbooks and look out for more information on a topic. And hence that should be the reason why parents and teachers should nurture and encourage children's curiosity. The thing is when we encourage our child's curiosity we allow them to grow and become creative. The natural tendency to be curious allows a child be more creative and self-learner. Curiosity stimulates their brain and reasoning abilities.

10 Ways To Encourage Curiosity in Children

1. Parents and teachers can nurture a child's curiosity by supporting and encouraging it. Live experiments, nature walks, science exhibitions, open discussions and group studies help out children to diligently work towards dealing with false hypotheses and coming to their own conclusions.

2. The curriculum should be made such to arouse an intense curiosity among children. This can be done by fragmenting the topic and allowing a child retrace their steps around the topic collecting more data and coming to their own solutions which satiate their hunger.

3. Allow the child to live in their own thoughts to think it through. Do not answer in the first glance and satisfy their curiosity. Instead try and allow them to explain and explore their point of view and thoughts on the same.

4. Be supportive of their curiosity. If you consider your child's thoughts to go in a wrong directions, provide hints here and there, but do not reject his idea all at once.

5. At times, curiosity could lead your child to gain new knowledge or a whole new meaning. It would shape up his thoughts and allow him to learn something new.

6. Supporting your child's interest is the best way to deal with his or her curiosity. For example, if your child wishes to experiment on something, and even though you know that it is going to be messy; yet provide him with the opportunity to conduct the experiment, with a promise that help could be expected from him while cleaning.

7. Open discussions on certain subjects your child is curious about could turn out helpful.

8. At times you may not support an idea that your child finds curious about. But instead of making this point clear to him, if you allow him a chance to realize this on its own it would be a better learning experience for the kid and he would never forget it. This way a child does not feel rejected and at the same time is happy to find the reality of certain situations or things.

9. Engage your kids in activities that can stimulate their curiosity.

10. Curiosity plays an important role in your child's learning and hence never let it dull out. Keep asking questions to your child which allow them to think about a particular topic and come up with answers that encourage their curiosity. 

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parenting is a process where a parent helps a child to grow and promote physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually. It could be referred as a complex set of behavioral skills adorn by parents to interact with their children daily to imbibe good practices and help them on all levels to grow into a successful individual. But on some level such parenting behavior may not work out for children, though every parent would really work hard on doing a good job of raising children. Parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's growth. How a child turns out to be has something to do with parenting. A parent's anxiety, perception and influence has it's own implication on children's growth and success.

The role we play as parents can help a child to grow and be successful or could hamper his growth altogether. However competent we feel we are, sometimes we do a very bad job at parenting. And trying too hard to be competent can actually disable a child from recognizing his own capabilities and thus could curtail his growth. Our parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's development, success and growth. Though nothing is intentional,  all we as parents wish to do is raise successful kids but parents can make mistakes too and this is definitely something that we should remember. Let us discuss the impact of parental behaviors on a children's development.

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parent  Offering Too Much Assistance can Hamper Children's Development

We do everything in our power to make sure that our child is rescued from every other small problems. While doing so, we keep over-assisting them by trying to solve each and every problem the children face. We fight and solve those problems as if they are our own. But often we forget how we actually do not help them by helping them. Such problems could be dealing with bullies, helping with each and every activity provided by school, minor problems the child faces in everyday life etc. The way we keep assisting our children not only hampers their growth but also makes them depend too much on us. The children of such over-assistive parents develop a certain attitude where they stop dealing with such problems they face as they are sure that their parents can handle those. In doing so a child fails to develop the ability of solving problems on their own and may fail doing so on their own in future.

Parents Being Over-Protective Can Hamper Children's Development

We as parents want our child to be safe and we try everything in our capability to ensure that happens. In today's world where danger lurks all around, we make sure that our child is safe and sound. We as parents live in constant fear of losing our children and hence try our best to protect them. We worry when our child is late from school, playground, tuition or friend's home. We constantly worry and try everything to make sure that our child is safe. We warn them against strangers, we make sure that we follow them as much as we could and thus take all the necessary precautions to ensure their safety. But at times, while over-doing so we almost threaten their peace and violate their freedom. We do not allow them to play outside and make them stay indoors. We are always their to make certain our child does not experiences falls, heart breaks, insults, bullying etc. Our over-protective nature can have severe implications on a child's personality as we do not allow a child to experience certain risks which may help them to grow into successful individuals. Our constant hovering around them can threaten their privacy and also hamper their emotional stability.

Too Much Appreciation From Parents Can Hamper Children's Development

Every parent is always proud of their child's abilities, and in a way they should be. If we as parents do not appreciate our child's efforts then who will! But too much appreciation could also work wrong ways. As a parent we always wish to make our child feel special and blessed. But if such behavior from parents stretch too much a child would end up having wrong impression about himself. It totally depends on why and how much a child is raved and made feel special. Has this got anything to do with the child's real efforts? If yes, then the appreciation is always welcome. But if a parent gets into the behavior of appreciating a child too often, simply for nothing; then that could really hamper a child's development. Research has shown that too much appreciation can hamper a child's development as it would disconnect a child from reality. Once a child realizes that his every approach, behavior, doings and lies are appreciated, he or she would eventually feel that they are much better than anyone. In such cases a child would feel too special about himself and would never try to improve his capabilities. Such mentality in children has severe repercussions on their future, where they learn to exaggerate, cheat and sometimes do anything to get their own way. Hence such parenting behaviour needs to be avoided.

Parents Being Too Strict Can Hamper Children's Development

At time parents are too strict. Though being strict is good when it comes to imbibing good habits and discipline, yet being too strict could hamper a child's growth. Every parent is known to set certain boundaries for their kids, like setting time when a child should be home, decided hours for a child to watch television or studies. Such boundaries can work positively as long as there is not too much pressure for a child to handle. A little flexibility has to be allowed to a child when it comes to following rules. If such flexibility is not allowed a child can feel a bit caged and that would do major damage to his personality. Little reasoning, a little flexibility and certain amount of freedom is necessary for  children's mental and emotional development.

Making a Child feel Guilty All the Time Can Hamper Children's Development

Everyone is bound to make mistakes. And the truth is we always learn from our mistakes and hence mistakes are not such a bad thing. If we as adults can do mistakes, then kids are just kids. But there are cases where parents get too upset with the mistakes their children do and make them feel guilty about it. In such cases a child learns only about guilt and refuses to take action or play a certain role. This is because the child is too afraid to do anything as he knows that whatever he does is going to be wrong. All his parent has done throughout his childhood is taught him guilt and thus hampered his development. Such children lose self-esteem and are afraid to take on leadership roles. Such parenting behavior can have it's serious implications on a child's development. A child when raised in such condition could always be worried and have doubts about his own actions.

Parents Not Following their Own Rules Can Hamper Children's Development

We lay down certain rules for our children to follow. These rules include not watching television while having dinner, restricted mobile phone usage, restricted internet usage and so on. But when it comes to follow our own made rules we just ignore. But children are pretty watchful and they do observe their parents not following own made rules. Such parenting behavior confuses a child and sends mixed message. A child wonders why their parents do not follow the same rules if the rules are good enough for the child. A child also wonders why those set of rules are only laid down for the child himself while a parent could enjoy all the liberties.

Top Ten Parenting Behaviors for Children's Development

1. A parent has to remember that a child will at some time have to deal with his problems himself, and that could happen only if he starts solving his problems on his own at an early level. Though it does not mean that we should not assist our child, but minute problems can be left upon the child to handle which would help them to develop into a competent adult.

2. Allow the child to handle and learn from his experiences. If a child would not take a decision how would he know whether what he decide upon could be right or wrong for him. This way when a child learn's from his own mistake his decision taking skills improve.

3. Though every child should consider himself as a winner, yet there should be times when a parent should make there child aware about their capabilities and in-capabilities. As a child's good behavior or act needs to be awarded and raved at, his bad behavior needs to be disciplined.

4. A child should be made aware of the future consequences related to his mistakes such as telling lies or exaggerating or being a bully.

5. Help your child to bounce back from unhappy situations or failures. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes. Ask them to consider such situations as an opportunity and challenge to learn.

6. Be reasonable when it comes to setting boundaries for your children. Though a child should definitely follow rules set for him, yet their could be certain circumstances when a rule can be bended depending upon the situation. A child should follow the rules only because he agrees with them and believes in them. If a rule suffocates a child then parents and child need to have one on one discussion about the same and a parent should always be open to ideas and reasoning.

7. If a child commits a mistake do not make him feel guilty about it. Allow him to realize his mistake and if he comes to talk about it, listen to him and provide him with a positive feedback. Do not make him feel guilty in anyway, in fact make him aware of how he could do better the next time. Try to encourage his self esteem and thus all the child would gain is positivity and this can help him way much better to learn and develop from his mistakes.

8. When you expect a child to follow certain rules, make sure you follow them too. When rules such as not watching television while having food is made for a child and a parent is caught watching television while having his own food; a child is confused why he is the only one who has to follow the rules.

9. To develop leadership qualities and problem solving abilities in children provide them with some space, where the children have the freedom of coming up on their own on certain solutions for the problems and challenges they face. Do not try to over-ride on those decisions even if you think they are not the right solution. Let the child try and experience certain failures, at least he has the satisfaction of using his own thinking skills at the end of the day. This is how he would fail and yet learn and come up with better solutions in future.

10. A child should be provided with all the freedom he needs to overcome challenges and problems. He should be able to trust his own decision making abilities. Though a parent should not interfere in a child's decision, yet at the end of the day a parent should be their to support the child and help him take certain decision if a child feels the need to consult his parent. An advice and guidance whenever required should be provided to a child, as the child should always feel that right or wrong his parents would always be there for him.