How Does Constant Criticism Affect The Child

I have noticed few parents, who are never happy with their children. Whatever their child does, however good it is, it is never good enough for them. On the other hand, some parents are over-perfectionists and have such high standards that all they do is point out their children's mistakes. For instance, if their child scores 90 out of 100, they would nag him on why it couldn't have been 100 out of 100. Or if a child is presented with a certificate by school for any special talent he possess, then instead of words of encouragement all the parents have to say is, "Shouldn't you be focusing on your studies other than such useless competitions?"

Such statements are enough to destroy the enthusiasm a child had while showing his achievements to his parents. Though whatever is done by the parents is with a good intention of improving their child, yet this continuous nagging turns out nothing but constant criticism. Some parents also have the habit of labeling their child rather than criticizing him or her. Such labels would include their child 'being lazy', 'being pathetic', 'being irresponsible', 'being immature', 'being foolish', 'being fat', 'being rude', 'being mannerless', 'being short-tempered' and so on. These labels can have an adverse effect on a child if they are every now and then tagged by it.

What Constant Criticism Does To A Child?

When a child is constantly criticized by his parents, all that happens to a child is, he or she takes one more step towards the constant reminder of  'You are not good enough'. A child gets the feeling that he will never be good enough for his parents, how hard he try. The labels a child carries throughout his childhood leave deep impression on a his mind. He may try hard to change his parent's perspective by making constant efforts at doing things right. But if he or she doesn't get their approval or appreciation; it gets difficult for him or her to understand where exactly they are going wrong.

The labels given to children by their parents put them in a slot where they get confused and lack self confidence. This could lead your child to depression and negative self image. They grow with negativity about their own self. It is in fact said that growing up with constant criticsim can damage a child's self worth. When it gets too late, nothing can be done to get things better. Their comes a time when your child just stops trying. That is when he or she gives up. And that is when you lose them. And most of the time, even if you realize your mistake at this point of time, nothing you do can bring them back.

Hence it is very important that parents realize how far they are going with this criticism. The negative effects of criticism are worse than one can imagine. There is a certain way where instead of criticizing, a parent can make their child understand about how good he or she can be. Instead of criticizing and constant nagging, what a parent can do is try to understand their children.

Words of encouragement have their special way of boosting a child's self confidence. If a child has a bad habit or if a parent wishes to teach their child about certain good habits, it is ideal to teach them such habits in an encouraging manner. When a child tries it out, appreciate their efforts and award them for trying.

10 Funny Phobias One Cannot Believe Existed

Phobia is an extreme fear of something. One could get anxious or extremely upset or even fear persistently about any object or certain situations. Phobia is one such situation which an individual would go to lengths to avoid. But not all phobias may sound serious to us. There are certain phobia which we may at times find too weird or funny. Here are ten such funny phobias which one cannot believe existed.

1.  Ablutophobia

Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing. With this phobia an individual may persistently fear bathing or cleaning oneself. This kind of phobia is more common in children and females. Wonder whether it is this phobia that keeps dogs away from bathing!

2. Arachibutyrophobia

Peanut butter lovers would never imagine, someone would have a phobia related to it. Well not entirely about eating peanut butter but arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

3. Chrometophobia

Chrometophobia is one such phobia one may find funny, as it could affect one's life at a great extent. Chrometophobia is the phobia where a man fears money. Now money is used by us in our day to day life to buy commodities, and also to live and make a living. A phobia as such can affect an individual vastly. How can one survive like that, I wonder!

4. Chronophobia

Now even this phobia is weird! Chronophobia is a phobia where an individual suffering from it fears of time passing. Such person may fear watches and clocks. Existence of such phobia can really put an individual's life in great trouble, I must say!

5. Lachanophobia

Meat lovers won't mind this at all! Lachanophobia is one such phobia where an individual may have great fear of vegetables. A  person suffering from this phobia may suffer panic attacks at the sight of certain vegetables, for example say peas, potatoes, cereals. This phobia could relate to one or two such vegetables or many. Now, vegetables is one such thing that provides us with nutrition and good health, but some people may indeed be afraid of them.

6. Peladophobia

Now how can one survive with such a thing! Peladophobia is the fear of bald people or baldness. Being bald or having bald people around cannot be helped. But imagine some people actually getting anxious around bald people or fearing the thought of becoming bald themselves. 

7. Photophobia

This phobia I wished never existed! Photophobia is a phobia where one is afraid of light. This fear resembles a condition known as light sensitivity where a person could get over-sensitive around light. He or she may feel that light is hurting their eyes and would prefer remaining in dark.

8. Pogonophobia

Pogonophobia is one such funny phobia where an individual may take extreme dislike for beards or even fear the presence of someone who has beards. Though we may find such a phobia silly, but for those who suffer from it it is not funny at all. Such people suffering with pogonophobia can get extremely upset around people with beards.

9. Syngenesophobia

Maybe I have this phobia! Syngenesophobia is a phobia where one individual may get extremely afraid or upset around relatives. This fear could be about being around relatives or even siblings. In such condition a person may really get anxious about meeting relatives - either all or some of them. For example this fear could be related to fear of aunts, fear of cousins, fear or uncles or anyone else in particular. Such person may get extremely anxious in such people's company.

10. Tonsurephobia

Tonsurephobia is a phobia where a person can be extremely upset or afraid  about getting haircuts. The existence of such phobia in an individual could really affect his or her physical well-being. But such phobia does exist, however weird it may sound.

How to Help Your Overweight Child Lose Weight

A child being overweight or obese is one of the common causes of concern for parents these days. It starts all with a child being chubby in childhood which parent adore. Slowly and gradually the chubbiness starts turning into obesity which is initially ignored by parents. For them all that matters is that the child looks healthy. But before they realize that their healthy child is growing more towards the heavier side with huge bellies and double chins, it is quite too late. This realization dawns only after the child starts complaining about being tired, lethargic or even breathless with or without any physical activity. Ignoring the fact that a child may have weight issues is a mistake a parent usually does. It is only when the child starts to develop medical conditions due to their weight issues, the parent realizes that the child needs help. Parents run to doctors and friends with complains like, 'my daughter is overweight what can I do?' or 'My child is overweight but he eats healthy, so how?' or even questions like, 'Is my child overweight?' In the current scenario more and more kids are facing the issue of being overweight or obese.

One symptom of overweight children is  Belly fat 

Symptoms of Childhood Obesity

A child being overweight or obese could be kept under check, if a parent is aware of the symptoms of childhood obesity. How do you know whether your child is overweight or not, is all upon these symptoms. Just relate any or few of these symptoms with your child's condition and you have your answer. You could check just one box or more than one, it all tells you how overweight your child is! Once you know the symptoms of obesity your child relates to, you would be in a better position to explain the same to your doctor for further help and analysis. Here are few symptoms of childhood obesity -

1. Your child often complains of his clothes being too tight and demands for large sizes, even though they were bought recently.

2. You notice your child's belly fat and an increasing weight gain around his waist.

3. You can notice large deposits of fats or  stretchmarks around your child's chin, neck, hips, abdomen, thigh and arms.

4. Body Mass Index of the child confirms being overweight and obesity.

5. Your child complains constantly of being tired.

6. Your child has difficulty walking and running.

7. Your child is lethargic and always complain of being sleepy or drowsy.

8. Your child is fat as compared to the kids of his class.

9. Your child constantly complains of have trouble breathing while sleeping.

10. Your child constantly complains or faces gastric problems or even constipation.

11. In overweight girls delayed menstruation could be an symptom you cannot ignore.

12. In overweight boys delayed puberty is one of the symptoms.

13. Your child complains of difficulty breathing while doing any physical activity.

14. Your child complains of lower backaches, dislocated hip or flat feet.

15. Weighing scale confirms constant weight gain in your child.

How does a doctor determine your child's obesity?

When you check the obesity symptoms with your child and few of those symptoms relate to him or her, you could take up your child's condition with your doctor. A doctor can help you confirm whether your child has overweight issues. Normally a  doctor keeps tab of the regular checkup of a child right from infancy to his growing years which helps him observe the child carefully for weight issues. In such cases a doctor warns parents immediately if he finds anything wrong with the weight chart of a child. But any sudden symptoms that were not observed before and are happening recently should be checked with a doctor. A doctor would determine whether your child is overweight or obese by carrying out a thorough examination. He would check your child's Body Mass Index (BMI). The family history of child would also be taken in concern, for any problems such as obesity in parents, diabetes, sleep apnea, heart conditions, blood pressure problems etc.

Should a Parent Be Concerned about their child being overweight or obese?

The answer is yes. A parent should definitely be concerned about their child's weight issues. The reason is with a child being overweight, he or she is more threatened with serious health issues which may have long term effects. An overweight child may develop serious medical problems in initial or even later part of their life as compared to the other children. Imagine this, currently if your child has issues such as breathlessness or lethargy - what would happen when they grow? These problems would grow with them! Today's breathlessness may turn to asthma! Apart from medical problems a child will have to face severe effects of childhood obesity in their life.

And hence we as parent should help our child to fight obesity or overweight issues. What we do today is going to help them in the near future. The efforts would count and the child would be really thankful to his parents for the same.

Learn more about overweight child diet plans

How to Help Your Overweight Child Lose Weight

Include Healthy Food in Your Child's Diet

If your child has a habit of eating junk, it needs to stop right away. No more candies, chocolates, chips, cold drink and all those junk. But you can't just put a stop to whole thing immediately. Start putting a stop slowly. Other than three to four servings that your child has of his favorite junk food daily, limit it to two servings. Include healthy food rich in fiber, protein, vitamin, minerals in the next two servings. This way a child is happy and the mother is happy too. Plus try different overweight child diet plans and include whichever is suitable to your child. 

Listen To Your Doctor

Do not put your child on any weight loss program without consulting your doctor. You can actually consult your doctor for any weight-loss program which is essential for your child and only if he suggests, you should carry on such weight loss schedule. Get your child treated for any sleeping disorders such as sleep apnea or other health problems due to obesity.

Be a Good Role Model

Children are known to be good learners. And parents have to remember that! Your healthy choices towards life can help your child to make healthy choices for his life. If you live a passive life, your child would follow the same. And hence it is important that parents be a good role model for overweight children by making healthy choices such as eating healthy food, being physically active and enjoying active pastimes.

Limiting Your Child's Screen Time

Set a limited screen time for your overweight child. Be it use of mobile phones, computer, online games, PlayStation or just watching TV. Set a time limit for daily usage of all these electronic appliances. Like you could allow them one hour of television time and one hour of computer usage every day.  Children spend most of the time in their room playing games or watching television. This passive hours promote sedentary and lethargic lifestyle. Hence curtail the time limit for screen time usage for your child.

Planning a Regular Workout Routine For Your Overweight Child

Starting slow, promote a regular work-time for your overweight child. Make the plans by taking into consideration your child's likes and dislikes. If your child enjoys swimming then plan a 30 minute to 1 hour swimming session at least twice or thrice a week. Plan a walking schedule or a jogging schedule with your overweight child. Do not force him to work out for long hours. Start slow and allow him to adjust according to the schedule and then slowly increase  schedule from twice a day to thrice a day. You could alternatively put two or three activities schedules for the whole week. For instance swimming twice a week, active past time such as table tennis or football once or twice a week or even daily walks.

Discussing Obesity with Your Child

A sudden change in daily routine may amuse children. Children are unaware of how bad a problem of being overweight could be. Hence parents can help them understand in easy words. A child's age needs to be taken into consideration while making him understand and discuss obesity. It may be a bit easier to discuss the problem of obesity with elder kids rather than younger. But with simple words and little understanding a parent can easily discuss this problem with children. It is essential that a child realizes how important it is to stay healthy and how too much of junk food is ruining their health.

Appreciate Your Child's Efforts

Appreciate the efforts your child puts into it. If your overweight child participates in any school event such as a dance competition or even a sport activity, there are possibilities that he may not fare well in the beginning. But still he has tried. Even if he fails or does poorly in any physical activity or school activity, praise him for his efforts and motivate him to carry on. You can reward him for his efforts by cooking him his favorite sweet or any other gift.

Top Ten Tips To Help Your Child Lose Weight

1. Ensure that your child gets enough sleep daily. Lack of sleep is directly associated with weight gain according to some research studies.

2. Helping your child lose weight by starving him is not the right approach. Instead minimize his portions and include wholesome food in his daily diet.

3. Try to monitor your child's weight on a regular basis.

4. Encourage your child to participate in school activities such as sports, drama and dance.

5. Cut down on your child's daily dosage of aerated drinks and replace it with fresh fruit juices.

6. Teach your child to chew his food and eat slowly.

7. Once you limit your child's television hours, make sure that this rule applies to everybody in the household. This behavior motivates your child positively.

8. Encourage your child to carry out simple fun activity at home when he is alone. This could include playing with ball, shooting baskets, cycling, skipping.

9. Plan family active outings for weekend such as camping, hiking, bird watching, nature trails or a long walk.

10. Let your child know that you will always be there to support him. Your support will mean a lot to him and would inspire him to lose weight and be fit. 

Children Learn What They Live - Poem By Dorothy Law Nolte

'Children Learn What They Live' is a poem written by Dorothy Law Nolte. Dorothy Law Nolte was a famous American writer who had been a lifelong teacher and a family counselor. She believed in parenting by instilling values old fashioned way. In 1954 she wrote a wise poem which is not only inspirational but helps us look into parenting with a total new aspect. This poem always works as a guide for parents who find it difficult to take parenting decisions. If we try to understand what she wants to say with her poem, we would understand what true parenting is.

Here is this beautiful poem which helps us to understand more about children and parenting.

Children Learn What They Live

   

                 - by Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parenting is a process where a parent helps a child to grow and promote physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually. It could be referred as a complex set of behavioral skills adorn by parents to interact with their children daily to imbibe good practices and help them on all levels to grow into a successful individual. But on some level such parenting behavior may not work out for children, though every parent would really work hard on doing a good job of raising children. Parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's growth. How a child turns out to be has something to do with parenting. A parent's anxiety, perception and influence has it's own implication on children's growth and success.

The role we play as parents can help a child to grow and be successful or could hamper his growth altogether. However competent we feel we are, sometimes we do a very bad job at parenting. And trying too hard to be competent can actually disable a child from recognizing his own capabilities and thus could curtail his growth. Our parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's development, success and growth. Though nothing is intentional,  all we as parents wish to do is raise successful kids but parents can make mistakes too and this is definitely something that we should remember. Let us discuss the impact of parental behaviors on a children's development.

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parent  Offering Too Much Assistance can Hamper Children's Development

We do everything in our power to make sure that our child is rescued from every other small problems. While doing so, we keep over-assisting them by trying to solve each and every problem the children face. We fight and solve those problems as if they are our own. But often we forget how we actually do not help them by helping them. Such problems could be dealing with bullies, helping with each and every activity provided by school, minor problems the child faces in everyday life etc. The way we keep assisting our children not only hampers their growth but also makes them depend too much on us. The children of such over-assistive parents develop a certain attitude where they stop dealing with such problems they face as they are sure that their parents can handle those. In doing so a child fails to develop the ability of solving problems on their own and may fail doing so on their own in future.

Parents Being Over-Protective Can Hamper Children's Development

We as parents want our child to be safe and we try everything in our capability to ensure that happens. In today's world where danger lurks all around, we make sure that our child is safe and sound. We as parents live in constant fear of losing our children and hence try our best to protect them. We worry when our child is late from school, playground, tuition or friend's home. We constantly worry and try everything to make sure that our child is safe. We warn them against strangers, we make sure that we follow them as much as we could and thus take all the necessary precautions to ensure their safety. But at times, while over-doing so we almost threaten their peace and violate their freedom. We do not allow them to play outside and make them stay indoors. We are always their to make certain our child does not experiences falls, heart breaks, insults, bullying etc. Our over-protective nature can have severe implications on a child's personality as we do not allow a child to experience certain risks which may help them to grow into successful individuals. Our constant hovering around them can threaten their privacy and also hamper their emotional stability.

Too Much Appreciation From Parents Can Hamper Children's Development

Every parent is always proud of their child's abilities, and in a way they should be. If we as parents do not appreciate our child's efforts then who will! But too much appreciation could also work wrong ways. As a parent we always wish to make our child feel special and blessed. But if such behavior from parents stretch too much a child would end up having wrong impression about himself. It totally depends on why and how much a child is raved and made feel special. Has this got anything to do with the child's real efforts? If yes, then the appreciation is always welcome. But if a parent gets into the behavior of appreciating a child too often, simply for nothing; then that could really hamper a child's development. Research has shown that too much appreciation can hamper a child's development as it would disconnect a child from reality. Once a child realizes that his every approach, behavior, doings and lies are appreciated, he or she would eventually feel that they are much better than anyone. In such cases a child would feel too special about himself and would never try to improve his capabilities. Such mentality in children has severe repercussions on their future, where they learn to exaggerate, cheat and sometimes do anything to get their own way. Hence such parenting behaviour needs to be avoided.

Parents Being Too Strict Can Hamper Children's Development

At time parents are too strict. Though being strict is good when it comes to imbibing good habits and discipline, yet being too strict could hamper a child's growth. Every parent is known to set certain boundaries for their kids, like setting time when a child should be home, decided hours for a child to watch television or studies. Such boundaries can work positively as long as there is not too much pressure for a child to handle. A little flexibility has to be allowed to a child when it comes to following rules. If such flexibility is not allowed a child can feel a bit caged and that would do major damage to his personality. Little reasoning, a little flexibility and certain amount of freedom is necessary for  children's mental and emotional development.

Making a Child feel Guilty All the Time Can Hamper Children's Development

Everyone is bound to make mistakes. And the truth is we always learn from our mistakes and hence mistakes are not such a bad thing. If we as adults can do mistakes, then kids are just kids. But there are cases where parents get too upset with the mistakes their children do and make them feel guilty about it. In such cases a child learns only about guilt and refuses to take action or play a certain role. This is because the child is too afraid to do anything as he knows that whatever he does is going to be wrong. All his parent has done throughout his childhood is taught him guilt and thus hampered his development. Such children lose self-esteem and are afraid to take on leadership roles. Such parenting behavior can have it's serious implications on a child's development. A child when raised in such condition could always be worried and have doubts about his own actions.

Parents Not Following their Own Rules Can Hamper Children's Development

We lay down certain rules for our children to follow. These rules include not watching television while having dinner, restricted mobile phone usage, restricted internet usage and so on. But when it comes to follow our own made rules we just ignore. But children are pretty watchful and they do observe their parents not following own made rules. Such parenting behavior confuses a child and sends mixed message. A child wonders why their parents do not follow the same rules if the rules are good enough for the child. A child also wonders why those set of rules are only laid down for the child himself while a parent could enjoy all the liberties.

Top Ten Parenting Behaviors for Children's Development

1. A parent has to remember that a child will at some time have to deal with his problems himself, and that could happen only if he starts solving his problems on his own at an early level. Though it does not mean that we should not assist our child, but minute problems can be left upon the child to handle which would help them to develop into a competent adult.

2. Allow the child to handle and learn from his experiences. If a child would not take a decision how would he know whether what he decide upon could be right or wrong for him. This way when a child learn's from his own mistake his decision taking skills improve.

3. Though every child should consider himself as a winner, yet there should be times when a parent should make there child aware about their capabilities and in-capabilities. As a child's good behavior or act needs to be awarded and raved at, his bad behavior needs to be disciplined.

4. A child should be made aware of the future consequences related to his mistakes such as telling lies or exaggerating or being a bully.

5. Help your child to bounce back from unhappy situations or failures. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes. Ask them to consider such situations as an opportunity and challenge to learn.

6. Be reasonable when it comes to setting boundaries for your children. Though a child should definitely follow rules set for him, yet their could be certain circumstances when a rule can be bended depending upon the situation. A child should follow the rules only because he agrees with them and believes in them. If a rule suffocates a child then parents and child need to have one on one discussion about the same and a parent should always be open to ideas and reasoning.

7. If a child commits a mistake do not make him feel guilty about it. Allow him to realize his mistake and if he comes to talk about it, listen to him and provide him with a positive feedback. Do not make him feel guilty in anyway, in fact make him aware of how he could do better the next time. Try to encourage his self esteem and thus all the child would gain is positivity and this can help him way much better to learn and develop from his mistakes.

8. When you expect a child to follow certain rules, make sure you follow them too. When rules such as not watching television while having food is made for a child and a parent is caught watching television while having his own food; a child is confused why he is the only one who has to follow the rules.

9. To develop leadership qualities and problem solving abilities in children provide them with some space, where the children have the freedom of coming up on their own on certain solutions for the problems and challenges they face. Do not try to over-ride on those decisions even if you think they are not the right solution. Let the child try and experience certain failures, at least he has the satisfaction of using his own thinking skills at the end of the day. This is how he would fail and yet learn and come up with better solutions in future.

10. A child should be provided with all the freedom he needs to overcome challenges and problems. He should be able to trust his own decision making abilities. Though a parent should not interfere in a child's decision, yet at the end of the day a parent should be their to support the child and help him take certain decision if a child feels the need to consult his parent. An advice and guidance whenever required should be provided to a child, as the child should always feel that right or wrong his parents would always be there for him.