Thursday, September 21, 2017

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parenting is a process where a parent helps a child to grow and promote physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually. It could be referred as a complex set of behavioral skills adorn by parents to interact with their children daily to imbibe good practices and help them on all levels to grow into a successful individual. But on some level such parenting behavior may not work out for children, though every parent would really work hard on doing a good job of raising children. Parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's growth. How a child turns out to be has something to do with parenting. A parent's anxiety, perception and influence has it's own implication on children's growth and success.

The role we play as parents can help a child to grow and be successful or could hamper his growth altogether. However competent we feel we are, sometimes we do a very bad job at parenting. And trying too hard to be competent can actually disable a child from recognizing his own capabilities and thus could curtail his growth. Our parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's development, success and growth. Though nothing is intentional,  all we as parents wish to do is raise successful kids but parents can make mistakes too and this is definitely something that we should remember. Let us discuss the impact of parental behaviors on a children's development.

Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development

Parent  Offering Too Much Assistance can Hamper Children's Development

We do everything in our power to make sure that our child is rescued from every other small problems. While doing so, we keep over-assisting them by trying to solve each and every problem the children face. We fight and solve those problems as if they are our own. But often we forget how we actually do not help them by helping them. Such problems could be dealing with bullies, helping with each and every activity provided by school, minor problems the child faces in everyday life etc. The way we keep assisting our children not only hampers their growth but also makes them depend too much on us. The children of such over-assistive parents develop a certain attitude where they stop dealing with such problems they face as they are sure that their parents can handle those. In doing so a child fails to develop the ability of solving problems on their own and may fail doing so on their own in future.

Parents Being Over-Protective Can Hamper Children's Development

We as parents want our child to be safe and we try everything in our capability to ensure that happens. In today's world where danger lurks all around, we make sure that our child is safe and sound. We as parents live in constant fear of losing our children and hence try our best to protect them. We worry when our child is late from school, playground, tuition or friend's home. We constantly worry and try everything to make sure that our child is safe. We warn them against strangers, we make sure that we follow them as much as we could and thus take all the necessary precautions to ensure their safety. But at times, while over-doing so we almost threaten their peace and violate their freedom. We do not allow them to play outside and make them stay indoors. We are always their to make certain our child does not experiences falls, heart breaks, insults, bullying etc. Our over-protective nature can have severe implications on a child's personality as we do not allow a child to experience certain risks which may help them to grow into successful individuals. Our constant hovering around them can threaten their privacy and also hamper their emotional stability.

Too Much Appreciation From Parents Can Hamper Children's Development

Every parent is always proud of their child's abilities, and in a way they should be. If we as parents do not appreciate our child's efforts then who will! But too much appreciation could also work wrong ways. As a parent we always wish to make our child feel special and blessed. But if such behavior from parents stretch too much a child would end up having wrong impression about himself. It totally depends on why and how much a child is raved and made feel special. Has this got anything to do with the child's real efforts? If yes, then the appreciation is always welcome. But if a parent gets into the behavior of appreciating a child too often, simply for nothing; then that could really hamper a child's development. Research has shown that too much appreciation can hamper a child's development as it would disconnect a child from reality. Once a child realizes that his every approach, behavior, doings and lies are appreciated, he or she would eventually feel that they are much better than anyone. In such cases a child would feel too special about himself and would never try to improve his capabilities. Such mentality in children has severe repercussions on their future, where they learn to exaggerate, cheat and sometimes do anything to get their own way. Hence such parenting behaviour needs to be avoided.

Parents Being Too Strict Can Hamper Children's Development

At time parents are too strict. Though being strict is good when it comes to imbibing good habits and discipline, yet being too strict could hamper a child's growth. Every parent is known to set certain boundaries for their kids, like setting time when a child should be home, decided hours for a child to watch television or studies. Such boundaries can work positively as long as there is not too much pressure for a child to handle. A little flexibility has to be allowed to a child when it comes to following rules. If such flexibility is not allowed a child can feel a bit caged and that would do major damage to his personality. Little reasoning, a little flexibility and certain amount of freedom is necessary for  children's mental and emotional development.

Making a Child feel Guilty All the Time Can Hamper Children's Development

Everyone is bound to make mistakes. And the truth is we always learn from our mistakes and hence mistakes are not such a bad thing. If we as adults can do mistakes, then kids are just kids. But there are cases where parents get too upset with the mistakes their children do and make them feel guilty about it. In such cases a child learns only about guilt and refuses to take action or play a certain role. This is because the child is too afraid to do anything as he knows that whatever he does is going to be wrong. All his parent has done throughout his childhood is taught him guilt and thus hampered his development. Such children lose self-esteem and are afraid to take on leadership roles. Such parenting behavior can have it's serious implications on a child's development. A child when raised in such condition could always be worried and have doubts about his own actions.

Parents Not Following their Own Rules Can Hamper Children's Development

We lay down certain rules for our children to follow. These rules include not watching television while having dinner, restricted mobile phone usage, restricted internet usage and so on. But when it comes to follow our own made rules we just ignore. But children are pretty watchful and they do observe their parents not following own made rules. Such parenting behavior confuses a child and sends mixed message. A child wonders why their parents do not follow the same rules if the rules are good enough for the child. A child also wonders why those set of rules are only laid down for the child himself while a parent could enjoy all the liberties.

Top Ten Parenting Behaviors for Children's Development

1. A parent has to remember that a child will at some time have to deal with his problems himself, and that could happen only if he starts solving his problems on his own at an early level. Though it does not mean that we should not assist our child, but minute problems can be left upon the child to handle which would help them to develop into a competent adult.

2. Allow the child to handle and learn from his experiences. If a child would not take a decision how would he know whether what he decide upon could be right or wrong for him. This way when a child learn's from his own mistake his decision taking skills improve.

3. Though every child should consider himself as a winner, yet there should be times when a parent should make there child aware about their capabilities and in-capabilities. As a child's good behavior or act needs to be awarded and raved at, his bad behavior needs to be disciplined.

4. A child should be made aware of the future consequences related to his mistakes such as telling lies or exaggerating or being a bully.

5. Help your child to bounce back from unhappy situations or failures. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes. Ask them to consider such situations as an opportunity and challenge to learn.

6. Be reasonable when it comes to setting boundaries for your children. Though a child should definitely follow rules set for him, yet their could be certain circumstances when a rule can be bended depending upon the situation. A child should follow the rules only because he agrees with them and believes in them. If a rule suffocates a child then parents and child need to have one on one discussion about the same and a parent should always be open to ideas and reasoning.

7. If a child commits a mistake do not make him feel guilty about it. Allow him to realize his mistake and if he comes to talk about it, listen to him and provide him with a positive feedback. Do not make him feel guilty in anyway, in fact make him aware of how he could do better the next time. Try to encourage his self esteem and thus all the child would gain is positivity and this can help him way much better to learn and develop from his mistakes.

8. When you expect a child to follow certain rules, make sure you follow them too. When rules such as not watching television while having food is made for a child and a parent is caught watching television while having his own food; a child is confused why he is the only one who has to follow the rules.

9. To develop leadership qualities and problem solving abilities in children provide them with some space, where the children have the freedom of coming up on their own on certain solutions for the problems and challenges they face. Do not try to over-ride on those decisions even if you think they are not the right solution. Let the child try and experience certain failures, at least he has the satisfaction of using his own thinking skills at the end of the day. This is how he would fail and yet learn and come up with better solutions in future.

10. A child should be provided with all the freedom he needs to overcome challenges and problems. He should be able to trust his own decision making abilities. Though a parent should not interfere in a child's decision, yet at the end of the day a parent should be their to support the child and help him take certain decision if a child feels the need to consult his parent. An advice and guidance whenever required should be provided to a child, as the child should always feel that right or wrong his parents would always be there for him.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Never Such Love - Poem By Robert Graves

Never Such Love 

      -   By Robert Graves

Twined together and, as is customary
For words of rapture groping, they
'Never such love,' swore, 'ever before was!'
Contrast with all loves that had failed or staled
Registered their owns love indeed.

And was not this to blab idly
The heart's fated inconstancy?
Better in love to seal the love-sure lips:
For truly love was before words were,
And no word given, no word broken.

When the word 'love' is uttered
(Love, the near-honourable malady
With which in greed and haste they
Each other do infect and curse)
Or, worse is written down.....

Wise after the event, by love withered,
A 'never more!' most frantically
Sorrow and shame would proclaim
Such as, they'd swear, never before were:
True lovers even in this.

Easter - Poem By George Herbert


      -  By George Herbert

Rise heart; thy Lord is risen.  Sing his praise
Without delayes,
Who takes thee by the hand, that thou likewise
With him mayst rise:
That, as his death calcined thee to dust,
His life may make thee gold, and much more, just.

Awake, my lute, and struggle for thy part
With all thy art.
The crosse taught all wood to resound his name,
Who bore the same.
His stretched sinews taught all strings, what key
Is best to celebrate this most high day.

Consort both heart and lute, and twist a song
Pleasant and long:
Or, since all music is but three parts vied 
And multiplied,
Oh let thy blessed Spirit bear a part,
And make up our defects with his sweet art.

I got me flowers to straw thy way;
I got me boughs off many a tree:
But thou wast up by break of day,
And brought’st thy sweets along with thee.

The Sunne arising in the East,
Though he give light, & th’ East perfume;
If they should offer to contest
With thy arising, they presume.

Can there be any day but this,
Though many sunnes to shine endeavour?
We count three hundred, but we misse:
There is but one, and that one ever.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Full Moon - Poem By Robert Graves

Full Moon

              -  By Robert Graves

As I walked out that sultry night,
I heard the stroke of one.
The moon, attained to her full height,
Stood beaming like the sun:
She exorcised the ghostly wheat
To mute assent in love's defeat,
Whose tryst had now begun.

The fields lay sick beneath my tread,
A tedious owlet cried,
A nightingale above my head
With this or that replied - 
Like man and wife who nightly keep
Inconsequent debate in sleep
As they dream side by side.

Your phantom wore the moon's cold mask
My phantom wore the same;
Forgetful of the feverish task
In hope of which they came,
Each image held the other's eyes
And watched a grey distraction rise
To cloud the eager flame - 

To cloud the eager flame of love,
To fog the shining gate;
They held the tryannous queen above
Sole mover of their fate,
They glared as marble statues glare
Across the tessellated stair
Or down the halls of state.

And now warm earth was Arctic Sea,
Each breath came dagger-keen;
Two bergs of glinting ice were we,
The broad moon sailed between;
There swam the mermaids, tailed and finned,
And love went by upon the wind
As though it had not been.

Twined together and, as is customary,
For words of rapture groping, they
'Never such love,' swore, 'ever before was!'
Contrast with all loves that had failed or staled
Registered their own as love indeed.

And was not this to blab idly
The heart's fated inconstancy?
Better in love to seal the love-sure lips:
For truly love was before words were,
And no word given, no words broken.

When the word 'love' is uttered
(Love, the near-honourable malady
With which in greed and haste they
Each other do infect and curse)
Or, worse, is written down......

Wise after the event, by love withered,
A 'never more!' most frantically
Sorrow and shame would proclaim
Such as, they'd swear, never before were:
True lovers even in this.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

How to Help an Injured or Stranded Sea Turtle

Shorelines are known for their pristine waters which attract turtles as well as other sea marines. Pollution, environmental degradation, the depletion in coastlines and the deposits of plastics and other garbage on the shores can harm their existence. It is an important matter which cannot be neglected at all. Sea turtles are known to eat almost anything including plastic scraps which can be harmful for their digestion and could result in intestinal blockage. The garbage on the shorelines very often includes fishing hooks which could also be ingested by a turtle and could severely damage it's digestive tract. Such hook if does not pass of in stools, tends to snag up on the intestinal wall, which would eventually rust in a matter of months causing further damage. Sea turtles also get caught in buoy lines, fishing nets and fishing lines. Once a turtle gets caught in such lines, it is very difficult, almost impossible for the turtle to escape through. Turtles can further be injured due to boat hits, which could damage their shells. Such hits can cause severe cuts or deformities on the turtle shell. The sudden strike of boat can also cause a severe damage to lungs or muscle damage.

Usually stranded or injured turtles come across with minor injuries such as a cut or infected flipper, cuts and bruises to the neck or shell. In some cases damage to a turtle could also lead to blood loss or severe bone damage. Most harm is often found happening to sea turtles like Oliver Ridley turtles, green turtles, hawks-bill turtles and even loggerhead turtles. The most prominent cause for injury in turtles is the trash that is dumped into the sea. A huge wave can throw the turtles far away from the sea which can leave them injured and lost. On such occasions we should do our best to help such stranded and injured sea turtles to get back to their home. Here are few tips which can be helpful in helping a injured or stranded sea turtles.

How to Help an Injured or Stranded Sea Turtle

1. If you ever come across a stranded or injured sea turtle, it is best to contact the wildlife control room or the forest department. If you have no contact number of such official, it is best to inform the local police who may have the necessary contact details of such authorities. Share the exact location and other details of injury which you can manage to share out of the best judgement. It is very important to judge the injury which needs to be reported for immediate care and attention.

2. If you come across a nestling female or an injured turtle, it is best to turn off the flashlights and mobile phone camera. Nestling females get scared with too much of light. Few people have a habit of taking selfies with anything they come across, which should at least be avoided in such cases, as camera flash can scare the injured animal more and it may try to move, even if it has an injury which can further aggravate the problem.

3. Do not attempt to touch or move the turtle, if it looks like it is injured. Until you get an idea of the severity of the injury of this turtle, it is better to stay far off and just observe the turtle for any injuries. A sudden movement like trying to move or pick the sea turtle can cause severe damage to its vital organs.

4. If you realize that the injured sea turtle you came across has broken flippers, do not try to move the flippers for further examination, as it could cause severe pain to the animal.

5. Do not try and lift a sea turtle without determining it's actual weight and physical strength. It is possible that you may try to lift the turtle but due to it's heaviness it could slip from your hands, injuring it further.

6. If the sea turtle attempts to pass by to the sea on it's own, allow it to do. Just follow him till it reaches the sea but do not push it unnecessarily. Try and remove any obstacle that is in his way such as plastic bags, chairs, mats. See to it that he has a safe and hurdle free passage. Do not shout and make severe noises. Be quiet and keep a distance. Loud voices can further scare the animal.

7. Do not try and open the mouth of a turtle, as it can bite your fingers or take a chunk out of your skin easily.

8. If you find people crowding around the turtle, please request them to stay away and keep distance.

9. If the sea turtle you found looks dehydrated or seems to be out of water for a long time, arrange to get some sea water with the helps of the onlookers, and pour the sea water slowly on the turtle, to keep him hydrated. You can also soak some towels with sea water and place it close to an injured turtle around it's neck and flippers, till the requested authority makes it's presence and the sea turtle is attended for injuries.

10. If you wonder how to treat a turtle wound it is best to leave it to the experts. Do not try and apply antibiotic or turmeric on the wound of a sea turtle. This application may further aggravate the problem.

The litter is one of the most important problem that needs to be taken care of. Sea waves throw litter from the sea which also gets deposited on the beaches. While walking on the beach if you come across broken fishing nets, fishing hooks or plastic litter, pick them up and throw in the nearest bin. We can play our part as a good Samaritan, which  if helps even one marine animal, then is really worth it.  

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Solitude - Poem By Walter De La Mare


       - By Walter De La Mare

Ghosts there must be with me in this old house,
Deepening its midnight as the clock beats on.
Whence else upwelled - strange, sweet, yet ominous - 
That moment of happiness, and then was gone?

Nimbler than air-borne music, heart may call
A speechless message to the inward ear,
As secret even as that which then befell,
Yet nought that listening could make more clear.

Delicate, subtle senses, instant, fleet! - 
But oh, how near the verge at which they fail!
In vain, self hearkens for the fall of feet
Soft as its own may be, beyond the pale.

Good Bye - Poem By Walter De La Mare

Good Bye

      - By Walter De La Mare

The last of last words spoken is, Good-Bye - 
The last dismantled flower in the weed-grown hedge,
The last thin rumour of a feeble bell far ringing,
The last blind rat to spurn the mildewed rye.

A hardening darkness glasses the haunted eye,
Shines into nothing the watcher's burnt-out candle,
Wreathes into scentless nothing the wasting incense,
Faints in the outer silence the hunting-cry.

Love of its muted music breathes no sight,
Thought in her ivory tower gropes in her spinning,
Toss on in vain the whispering trees of Eden,
Last of all last words spoken is, Good-bye.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Estranged - Poem by Walter De La Mare


                     -     By Walter De La Mare

No one was with me there - 
Happy I was - alone;
Yet from the sunshine suddenly
A joy was gone.

A bird in an empty house
Sad echoes makes to ring,
Flitting from room to room
On restless wing:

Till from its shades he flies,
And leaves forlorn and dim
The narrow solitudes
So strange to him.

So, When with fickle heart
I joyed in the passing day,
A presence my mood estranged
Went grieved away.

Friday, September 8, 2017

The Soldier - Poem By Rupert Brooke

The Soldier

                 - By Rupert Brooke

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
A body of England's, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, bless by the suns of home.

And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

For A Dead Lady - Poem By Edwin Arlington Robinson

For A Dead Lady

       - By E. A. Robinson

No more with overflowing light
Shall fill the eyes that now are faded,
Not shall another's fringe with night
Their woman-hidden world as they did,
No more shall quiver down the days
The flowing wonder of her ways,
Whereof no language may requite
The shifting and the many-shaded.

The grace, divine, definitive,
Clings only as a faint forestalling;
The laugh that love could not forgive
Is hushed, and answers to no calling;
The forehead and the little ears
Have gone where Saturn keeps the years;
The breast where roses could not live
Has done with rising and with falling.

The beauty, shattered by the laws
That have creation in their keeping,
No longer trembles at applause,
Or over children that are sleeping;
And we who delve in beauty's lore
Know all that we have know before
Of what inexorable cause
Makes Time so vicious in his reaping.

Monday, September 4, 2017

The Moth - Poem By Walter De La Mare

The Moth

     - By Walter De La Mare

Isled in the midnight air,
Musked with the dark's faint bloom,
Out into glooming and secret haunts
The flame cries, 'Come!'

Lovely in dye and fan,
A-tremble in shimmering grace,
A moth from her winter swoon
Uplifts her face;

Stares from her glamorous eyes;
Wafts her on plumes like mist;
In ecstasy swirls and sways
To her strange trysts.

Tree At My Window - Poem by Robert Frost

Tree At My Window

  - By Robert Frost

Tree at my window, window tree,
My sash is lowered when night comes on;
But let there never be curtain drawn
Between you and me.

Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground,
And thing next most diffuse to cloud,
Not all your light tongues talking aloud
Could be profound.

But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,
And if you have seen me when I slept,
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
And all but lost.

That day she put our heads together,
Fate had her imagination about her,
Your head so much concerned with outer,
Mine with inner, weather.
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