I have noticed few parents, who are never happy with their children. Whatever their child does, however good it is, it is never good enough for them. On the other hand, some parents are over-perfectionists and have such high standards that all they do is point out their children's mistakes. For instance, if their child scores 90 out of 100, they would nag him on why it couldn't have been 100 out of 100. Or if a child is presented with a certificate by school for any special talent he possess, then instead of words of encouragement all the parents have to say is, "Shouldn't you be focusing on your studies other than such useless competitions?"
Such statements are enough to destroy the enthusiasm a child had while showing his achievements to his parents. Though whatever is done by the parents is with a good intention of improving their child, yet this continuous nagging turns out nothing but constant criticism. Some parents also have the habit of labeling their child rather than criticizing him or her. Such labels would include their child 'being lazy', 'being pathetic', 'being irresponsible', 'being immature', 'being foolish', 'being fat', 'being rude', 'being mannerless', 'being short-tempered' and so on. These labels can have an adverse effect on a child if they are every now and then tagged by it.
What Constant Criticism Does To A Child?
When a child is constantly criticized by his parents, all that happens to a child is, he or she takes one more step towards the constant reminder of
'You are not good enough'. A child gets the feeling that he will never be good enough for his parents, how hard he try. The labels a child carries throughout his childhood leave deep impression on a his mind. He may try hard to change his parent's perspective by making constant efforts at doing things right. But if he or she doesn't get their approval or appreciation; it gets difficult for him or her to understand where exactly they are going wrong.
The labels given to children by their parents put them in a slot where they get confused and lack self confidence. This could lead your child to depression and negative self image. They grow with negativity about their own self. It is in fact said that growing up with constant criticsim can damage a child's self worth. When it gets too late, nothing can be done to get things better. Their comes a time when your child just stops trying. That is when he or she gives up. And that is when you lose them. And most of the time, even if you realize your mistake at this point of time, nothing you do can bring them back.
Hence it is very important that parents realize how far they are going with this criticism. The negative effects of criticism are worse than one can imagine. There is a certain way where instead of criticizing, a parent can make their child understand about how good he or she can be. Instead of criticizing and constant nagging, what a parent can do is try to understand their children.
Words of encouragement have their special way of boosting a child's self confidence. If a child has a bad habit or if a parent wishes to teach their child about certain good habits, it is ideal to teach them such habits in an encouraging manner. When a child tries it out, appreciate their efforts and award them for trying.
