Parenting is a process where a parent helps a child to grow and promote physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually. It could be referred as a complex set of behavioral skills adorn by parents to interact with their children daily to imbibe good practices and help them on all levels to grow into a successful individual. But on some level such parenting behavior may not work out for children, though every parent would really work hard on doing a good job of raising children. Parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's growth. How a child turns out to be has something to do with parenting. A parent's anxiety, perception and influence has it's own implication on children's growth and success.
The role we play as parents can help a child to grow and be successful or could hamper his growth altogether. However competent we feel we are, sometimes we do a very bad job at parenting. And trying too hard to be competent can actually disable a child from recognizing his own capabilities and thus could curtail his growth. Our parenting behavior has a tremendous impact on a child's development, success and growth. Though nothing is intentional, all we as parents wish to do is raise successful kids but parents can make mistakes too and this is definitely something that we should remember. Let us discuss the impact of parental behaviors on a children's development.
Impact of Parenting Behavior on Children's Development
Parent Offering Too Much Assistance can Hamper Children's Development
We do everything in our power to make sure that our child is rescued from every other small problems. While doing so, we keep over-assisting them by trying to solve each and every problem the children face. We fight and solve those problems as if they are our own. But often we forget how we actually do not help them by helping them. Such problems could be dealing with bullies, helping with each and every activity provided by school, minor problems the child faces in everyday life etc. The way we keep assisting our children not only hampers their growth but also makes them depend too much on us. The children of such over-assistive parents develop a certain attitude where they stop dealing with such problems they face as they are sure that their parents can handle those. In doing so a child fails to develop the ability of solving problems on their own and may fail doing so on their own in future.
Parents Being Over-Protective Can Hamper Children's Development
We as parents want our child to be safe and we try everything in our capability to ensure that happens. In today's world where danger lurks all around, we make sure that our child is safe and sound. We as parents live in constant fear of losing our children and hence try our best to protect them. We worry when our child is late from school, playground, tuition or friend's home. We constantly worry and try everything to make sure that our child is safe. We warn them against strangers, we make sure that we follow them as much as we could and thus take all the necessary precautions to ensure their safety. But at times, while over-doing so we almost threaten their peace and violate their freedom. We do not allow them to play outside and make them stay indoors. We are always their to make certain our child does not experiences falls, heart breaks, insults, bullying etc. Our over-protective nature can have severe implications on a child's personality as we do not allow a child to experience certain risks which may help them to grow into successful individuals. Our constant hovering around them can threaten their privacy and also hamper their emotional stability.
Too Much Appreciation From Parents Can Hamper Children's Development
Every parent is always proud of their child's abilities, and in a way they should be. If we as parents do not appreciate our child's efforts then who will! But too much appreciation could also work wrong ways. As a parent we always wish to make our child feel special and blessed. But if such behavior from parents stretch too much a child would end up having wrong impression about himself. It totally depends on why and how much a child is raved and made feel special. Has this got anything to do with the child's real efforts? If yes, then the appreciation is always welcome. But if a parent gets into the behavior of appreciating a child too often, simply for nothing; then that could really hamper a child's development. Research has shown that too much appreciation can hamper a child's development as it would disconnect a child from reality. Once a child realizes that his every approach, behavior, doings and lies are appreciated, he or she would eventually feel that they are much better than anyone. In such cases a child would feel too special about himself and would never try to improve his capabilities. Such mentality in children has severe repercussions on their future, where they learn to exaggerate, cheat and sometimes do anything to get their own way. Hence such parenting behaviour needs to be avoided.
Parents Being Too Strict Can Hamper Children's Development
At time parents are too strict. Though being strict is good when it comes to imbibing good habits and discipline, yet being too strict could hamper a child's growth. Every parent is known to set certain boundaries for their kids, like setting time when a child should be home, decided hours for a child to watch television or studies. Such boundaries can work positively as long as there is not too much pressure for a child to handle. A little flexibility has to be allowed to a child when it comes to following rules. If such flexibility is not allowed a child can feel a bit caged and that would do major damage to his personality. Little reasoning, a little flexibility and certain amount of freedom is necessary for children's mental and emotional development.
Making a Child feel Guilty All the Time Can Hamper Children's Development
Everyone is bound to make mistakes. And the truth is we always learn from our mistakes and hence mistakes are not such a bad thing. If we as adults can do mistakes, then kids are just kids. But there are cases where parents get too upset with the mistakes their children do and make them feel guilty about it. In such cases a child learns only about guilt and refuses to take action or play a certain role. This is because the child is too afraid to do anything as he knows that whatever he does is going to be wrong. All his parent has done throughout his childhood is taught him guilt and thus hampered his development. Such children lose self-esteem and are afraid to take on leadership roles. Such parenting behavior can have it's serious implications on a child's development. A child when raised in such condition could always be worried and have doubts about his own actions.
Parents Not Following their Own Rules Can Hamper Children's Development
We lay down certain rules for our children to follow. These rules include not watching television while having dinner, restricted mobile phone usage, restricted internet usage and so on. But when it comes to follow our own made rules we just ignore. But children are pretty watchful and they do observe their parents not following own made rules. Such parenting behavior confuses a child and sends mixed message. A child wonders why their parents do not follow the same rules if the rules are good enough for the child. A child also wonders why those set of rules are only laid down for the child himself while a parent could enjoy all the liberties.
Top Ten Parenting Behaviors for Children's Development
1. A parent has to remember that a child will at some time have to deal with his problems himself, and that could happen only if he starts solving his problems on his own at an early level. Though it does not mean that we should not assist our child, but minute problems can be left upon the child to handle which would help them to develop into a competent adult.
2. Allow the child to handle and learn from his experiences. If a child would not take a decision how would he know whether what he decide upon could be right or wrong for him. This way when a child learn's from his own mistake his decision taking skills improve.
3. Though every child should consider himself as a winner, yet there should be times when a parent should make there child aware about their capabilities and in-capabilities. As a child's good behavior or act needs to be awarded and raved at, his bad behavior needs to be disciplined.
4. A child should be made aware of the future consequences related to his mistakes such as telling lies or exaggerating or being a bully.
5. Help your child to bounce back from unhappy situations or failures. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes. Ask them to consider such situations as an opportunity and challenge to learn.
6. Be reasonable when it comes to setting boundaries for your children. Though a child should definitely follow rules set for him, yet their could be certain circumstances when a rule can be bended depending upon the situation. A child should follow the rules only because he agrees with them and believes in them. If a rule suffocates a child then parents and child need to have one on one discussion about the same and a parent should always be open to ideas and reasoning.
7. If a child commits a mistake do not make him feel guilty about it. Allow him to realize his mistake and if he comes to talk about it, listen to him and provide him with a positive feedback. Do not make him feel guilty in anyway, in fact make him aware of how he could do better the next time. Try to encourage his self esteem and thus all the child would gain is positivity and this can help him way much better to learn and develop from his mistakes.
8. When you expect a child to follow certain rules, make sure you follow them too. When rules such as not watching television while having food is made for a child and a parent is caught watching television while having his own food; a child is confused why he is the only one who has to follow the rules.
9. To develop leadership qualities and problem solving abilities in children provide them with some space, where the children have the freedom of coming up on their own on certain solutions for the problems and challenges they face. Do not try to over-ride on those decisions even if you think they are not the right solution. Let the child try and experience certain failures, at least he has the satisfaction of using his own thinking skills at the end of the day. This is how he would fail and yet learn and come up with better solutions in future.
10. A child should be provided with all the freedom he needs to overcome challenges and problems. He should be able to trust his own decision making abilities. Though a parent should not interfere in a child's decision, yet at the end of the day a parent should be their to support the child and help him take certain decision if a child feels the need to consult his parent. An advice and guidance whenever required should be provided to a child, as the child should always feel that right or wrong his parents would always be there for him.
