Thursday, June 1, 2017

Why do Children Disobey

It hurts as parents, that our children disobey! We always wanted to inculcate good habits and practices in our children and all the outcome that we get for our efforts is disobedience from them. This is definitely not what we expected! So why should this even happen, and that too to us. Where we went wrong! Imagine the anger and frustration that built up within us at their disobedience or the embarrassment they cause to us in front of others. A child may tend to obey but this can happen only after a parent is is on the verge of exploding after repeating their commands over and over.


Should we really worry about our child's disobedience


Disobedience is said to be a natural tendency for children at an adolescent stage. But if a parent ignores a child's disobedience at this levels then maybe you are making a clear statement to your child that it is okay to disobey. Consistent disobedient behavior cannot be encouraged by parents.We need to get to the bottom of the problem for why a child is behaving so.


Causes of child's disobedience


- Children usually wish to do things their parents don't want them to do. This could be about anything viz.choices about food, clothing, studies or following certain rules such as following hygiene, going to bed early, watching television while eating, behaving well in front of guests etc.

- Disobedience usually happens on certain domains where it feels good to disobey. Children also disobey when they are curious about certain reasons. They wish to know why they should do what they are told  to do.

- What feels like disobedience to parents can actually be a right behavior for the child. They themselves too feel right about their behavior and hence disobey their parents.

- Confusion over certain matters can also lead a child to disobey. Often a child doesn't have an idea of how to react or behave on a particular set of rules laid to them by their parents which leads to disobedience.

- A child tends to grow up with his own personal identity or we could put it as he gets his own understanding about his personal identity.  A child grows with his own perception and wisdom. This leads a child to choose or decide things for example, say clothing or particular activity like growing hair, gelling or styling hair etc, that he assumes is good for him or looks good on him. When a parent objects to such behavior, a child could disobey.

- Mood tantrums of children are not new to parents. A child can be moody at times and this definitely affects his behavior. At times when a child can be found cheerful and in matter of minutes turn cranky and stubborn. This stubbornness can lead to disobedience.

- Children are attention seekers, They want and expect their parents to pay attention to them or to spend time with them. In today's world it gets difficult for parents to provide quality time to their kids. Lack of attention can lead to disobedience in children.

- Family feuds and constant arguments between parents can disturb a child mentally. A child being unaware of reasons for why his parents argue; gets confused and this confusion can constantly worry him. If the child is left alone with such worries and none attention is paid to him by parents, then the mental disturbance caused by such reasons can lead to disobedience.

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